Recognising scams and pressure

General prevention information.

Wanting a child touches on the most intimate part of our lives. That is precisely why some ill-intentioned people take an interest in it. Most conversations go well; knowing a few signs simply helps you keep a cool head.

The signs that should put you on your guard

• A request for money, in whatever form: a loan, a bank transfer, gift cards, travel costs, medical costs, an "advance" on a future project.
• A wish to leave the platform very quickly for another messaging service, before you have even got to know each other.
• A story that is too perfect or that changes from one message to the next, and a person who refuses any call.
• Urgency: you are pressed to decide, made to feel guilty, your questions are brushed aside.
• An offer to buy, sell or send gametes, or a request for compensation.
• A request for documents: identity document, bank statement, medical results.

Pressure is not always a scam

A sincere person can also move too fast, insist or play down your doubts. That is not fraud, but it is a sign. Plans for a child are built over time, and the way a person responds to "I don't know yet" says a great deal about what would follow.

The right habits

1. Pay nothing, lend nothing, give no bank details.
2. Do not send an identity document or a medical document.
3. Stay on the platform's messaging until trust has been established.
4. Suggest a call before any meeting: a repeated refusal tells you something.
5. Talk about it to someone you trust: an outside view helps you see clearly.
6. If in doubt, report the profile. You are protecting other members too.

If it has happened to you

You have nothing to blame yourself for. Stop the conversation, block and report the person, keep anything useful and, if you have paid money, contact your bank quickly. You can also file a complaint with the authorities in your country.